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Change

On the wall above my bed, I have a bunch of pictures - memories that make me smile, friends that have impacted my life and are a large part of my life, big events in my life. It’s something that I started back in high school a few years ago and I had been adding and changing pictures here and there, but I stopped three years ago and it’s been untouched.

I’m not really sure why I stopped, maybe it was because I wanted to conserve the good memories I had and the feeling of not wanting things to change [in addition to my laziness and moving to Berkeley]. But recently, I started looking at the pictures up there and kind of second guessing why I still had some of them up.

I started to realize how things have changed, especially the fact that it’s sad that people that you know become the people you once knew. I used to think I was really good at keeping in touch with people in my life and my friends would tell me that it was because of me that our group of friends from high school would still see each other during breaks. No matter where my friends went off to school to or where people were, I still kept in touch with them. I had, and still have a good amount of, friends that I went to elementary, middle, and high school with.

But I’ve realized how bad I’ve become at keeping in touch with people and I think that’s what is the basis of all this. I hate to put the blame on some outside factor, but I really think it was how my life changed and how busy it got, along with the flow and addition of people into my life. Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and at that point in life where I’m finding and figuring out who I want in my life for the rest of it and who my true friends are. So the change and weeding out of friends and people is only natural. Everyone and their lives have changed some way or another and that’s inevitable.

No matter what though, I want to be a better friend and I want to be able to look up at my wall and not have second thoughts about why certain pictures are up there. So, sorry to those that I’ve lost touch with, to those that I just haven’t been around for at all or to those that I’ve been MIA certain times with. I know that I want to keep most of the people I have in my life right now in my life for a long time, so if you’re part of my life, thank you for allowing me to have you in my life and for having me in your life. I’m going to try to not be so MIA, I promise.

Yesterday, I actually decided to take down almost half of the pictures I had up. I can’t wait to pick out and put up new ones.

Winter Break is giving me all this time to think about things. Plus, it’s a new year and perfect time to make changes.

[Can I just say, this was my first real post and I kinda like it. Been wanting to write it for a while now. Sorry if it’s too heavy and long for some people though. But this is what Tumblr and all the other blog sites should really be about, don’t you think?]